Confession

OK friends, I have something to confess. I have not been eating clean the past few days :/ It all started on Saturday. My husband worked hard on the house all day, so I decided he should have a treat & should pick where he wanted to go for dinner. Turns out he wanted Chicago style deep dish pizza. UM, so NOT clean :( Sometimes we have to do things for other people though, right? I checked out the salad options & none of them piqued my interest. Not enough protein, or worse yet, FRIED protein & I hate paying for a salad at a restaurant that will leave me hungry. So I decided to have some pizza. WORST.DECISION.EVER!! I definitely paid for eating all of that cheese & grains!! It sat like a brick in my stomach for the rest of the night & even into the next day :( UGH!!

Today I gave into convenience & at a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and some corn chips. Ugh, now I don't know why I did that, but at the time, it just seemed easier than making anything, even a salad, I was just too hungry in the moment & to be honest, I've missed pb&j!! Anyways, it was good & didn't hurt my stomach as much as the pizza did. I am trying my hardest to be kind to myself and not beat myself up for a few poor choices. I will not be defeated by these slips & am choosing to continue on, eating clean. Besides, I am doing another Whole30 in March, and I don't want it to be a bad transition. I want it to be a pretty smooth adjustment since I am trying to continue on the Paleo diet.

Life is a struggle though isn't it? I mean there will always be falls & failures. We will never do everything perfectly. I am learning that I can't  beat myself up for that. Life will not be perfect or easy, this side of Heaven. I am beginning to think that how you react to your slips, screw ups, & falls determines how the rest of your journey will go. I think it can get into your head & make you give up, or it can spur you on to do better. It can actually strengthen any future resolve.

I have obviously learned that I will not be eating deep dish pizza again LOL I hated the way it made me feel. However, I think a sandwich here or there is OK. It will not be my normal lunch, but I can't let the fear of what may happen scare me away from starting over & from having grace with myself. I will admit that I began to think of where eating like that has gotten me. I was not happy with how I looked & I didn't have energy and I don't want to go back to that lifestyle. I would rather be eating clean & moving forward, I will hopefully be better prepared & have a lunch in mind when I am out and about in the morning.