Grace

Today I was supposed to go running. I brought all of my gear (minus my water bottles, DUH!) to my IL's, along with my children, thinking I would run while they napped. WRONG! I ended up shopping for the girls' Christmas outfits instead. I figured, No biggie, I would do a Jillian DVD after the kids went to bed. WRONG again, I drank a glass of wine & took a bath. UGH. I am not happy with myself. Anyone else, I would advise to "give grace to yourself", however, I am not so easy on myself. I beat myself up too much. I expect too much of myself without giving myself enough grace. I want to be perfect & to practice what I preach. I am continually evaluating myself, to see if what I am promoting, is how I am living. I am often found lacking & I am not happy.

This confession will hopefully reach other people though. I would tell anyone else that tomorrow is a new day. Start off tomorrow on a new foot. Keep your goals in mind & pick up where you left off. I am not that easy on myself. I have no grace for my mistakes. So I am here to remind myself, to love myself. To give myself grace. To pick up tomorrow, where I have left off today. Tomorrow I will do a DVD (since Nick is out of town & I can't go running). Tomorrow I will make wise choices. Tomorrow will be a new day full of mercy & grace, the same as today.

I often beat myself up for areas of failure in my life, including where I am struggling spiritually. I don't think this is what God has in mind for me. I think that He would offer mercy to me, instead of beating my over the head with my failures. He would pull me aside & allow me to be sad that I missed the mark, to SHOW me where I messed up, but He would not keep me there. He would not threaten or punish me for the failures of today, He would be gentle with me & tell me to be gentle with myself. To love myself & to begin again tomorrow, a new day,with new mercies.

Thank you Lord for not being a harsh Master. For not rubbing my nose in my failure, but instead for allowing me to see my mistakes, but to give me grace. Please Lord, help me to give myself grace. To allow myself to fail, and then pick myself up again to start fresh in the morning. Thank you that you love me, that you give me Grace & Mercy.